Narration At It's Finest

The Average Day At Leporidae Elementary

     "I love cats, but anyone that possesses fondness for a canine is nothing but an uncultured swine." The girl, Amelia, declared. The boy sitting across the table in the cafeteria disagreed, though.

     "No, it's the other way around! Cats are the spawn of evil, evil demons!" Pierre argued hotly over his tray of meatloaf.

     "They are not!"

     "They are too!"

     Amelia huffed, exasperated, and sat back in the hard, plastic chair. "We're not getting anywhere with this."

     "Um," came a small voice from the other end of the table, "I know that it's hard to choose between cats and dogs, but..."

     "But what?" Pierre pressed, causing the owner of the small voice to gulp and gather it's cloak around it in defense.

     "What about... Bunnies?"

     There was a moment of silence between the three students, until Amelia narrowed her eyes and slammed her hand down against the table. "What about bunnies?"

     "Well," the voice continued, gaining confidence as it went, "Nobody hates bunnies. People can pick favorites between cats and dogs, but bunnies are above that."

     "Wait, who even are you?" Pierre asked, eyes alight with curiosity.

     The person giggled and replied, "A loyal advocate, of course."

     Amelia eyed the 'advocate' skeptically. "Loyal advocate of what exactly?" she demanded.

     "Of bunnies!" the figure replied easily. It stood up and folded its arms. "Now, are either of you familiar with the Tale of the Bunny Who Found his Fluff?"

     "You made that up just now." Pierre accused, meatloaf utterly forgotten.

     "Nope! And now I'm going to tell it to you!"

     Still standing, the strange person's voice took on a tone similar to that of Morgan Freeman.

     "Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a small, pink bunny--"

     "Bunnies are not pink." Amelia interrupted.

     "Shush Amelia, I want to hear the story!" Pierre chided.

     "Sorry..."

     "Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a small, pink bunny. His name was Joe. Joe was almost a very happy bunny. His only problem was that he had no fluff. 

     "Now, fluff was a very important part of a creature's life. It was a rite of passage, the one and only way to fulfill one's lifelong goal: to make a child happy. The children had no interest in a bunny that was not stuffed with fluff. Joe should have gotten his fluff many years ago, but the Regent Cat (who controlled the King Dog who was too young to rule) suddenly declared all bunnies unworthy of receiving their own fluff, for no apparent reason.

     "One day, when Joe was feeling particularly unhappy, he decided to confront the Regent Cat on the subject. After hours holed up in his house procrastinating mustering his courage, Joe found himself in the throne room, in front of the regent and the young king. 

     "Upon inquiring about his fluff, Joe found that Regent Cat was in fact jealous of bunnies and dogs, because it seemed that the children loved them more than they loved cats. However, since Regent Cat was not allowed to ban dogs, she took her insecurity out on bunnies. 

     "Joe was horrified at this revelation, so he promptly rounded up several children who loved cats, and brought them to the throne room. Immediately, each child attested to their love of cats, and Regent Cat felt better. So, with the help of King Dog, the law that prevented bunnies from having their own fluff was revoked, and Joe was able to receive his own honorary pink fluff. Even though no child could see his fluff, Joe knew it was there, and he was finally a very happy bunny.

     "The End!"

     "That... was wonderful." Amelia sniffled. "I love bunnies!"

     "That didn't even have much to do with anything..." Pierre mumbled, but was silenced by Amelia's glare.

     "So, now will you tell us who you are?" Amelia questioned, and both children looked in the direction of the figure at the other end of the table.

   

     The person however, was gone, and in it's place was a small, pink, stuffed bunny.